It’s been a beat so I wanted to poke you - not too hard, just a gentle nudge to prep you for what’s to come.
My dedicated, fanatically focused team and I are cooking up some good brew that, quite frankly, you all deserve, want and need. Yes, NEED!
We will carry the torch together to the steps of overpriced, mediocre coffee, pitchforks at the ready and storm the Portcullis as we continue our town-by-town takeover of Flavor Nation! ’Tis such a good cause and I am proud to lead the charge.
But night has fallen, and as we bivouac beneath the gleaming stars, I call us all to gather round the campfire to hear the latest news come by courier over oceans and mountaintops! We all hope it’s good news and, by golly, it is!
Let me untie the hemp string and unfurl this crude parchment….hmm…yes…I see…..molto interesante…good, good…..YES!
It says here that you love the KCups so much that we will be offering more SKUs in the not-too-distant-future and that these SKUs may or may not contain a super healthy, organic, favor-enhancing super food! That’s the rumor. According to this parchment this flavor-enhancer will help to clean up the environment at source countries and create jobs up and down the supply chain!
I need to sit down and take this in. Yowza. This is super-duper news! Okay, I’m going to stand up and keep reading.
It says “New products in the pipeline include bakery goods, 12oz ground coffee with flavor-enhancing super food added, and a chance to enter a contest that could result in you starring in a Scotty P’s Big Mug Coffee commercial!”
I have to sit down again. Shallow breaths, shallow breaths.
There’s more! It says “Some customers are expressing anxiety over 12oz and whole bean being out of stock. Since our love towards our customers knows no bounds we are redoubling our efforts to expedite the process of sourcing ever-improved blends that are healthy and better tasting.”
Yes, good people, we are improving the blends and want them to be perfect for you once they become available. The House Blend is gonna knock your socks off flavor-wise and I can’t wait for you to taste this revolutionary new coffee. If you love it just half as much as I currently do - and we aren’t locked in yet - then you are going to love it more than a cool dip in a mountain-top lake in deepest summer. I promise.
Of course, I am not one to rush anything out to market before it’s ready, so I ask your indulgence a little while longer. My deepest appreciation for your loyalty and good wishes. I read them every day and it’s always the best part of my day.
So, that’s it for now. Back to holding hands and singing out the songs of unity, love and then enjoying one last mug of coffee before we turn in for the night.
Happy Easter and Passover, all!